Sunday, April 19, 2009

Top 10 Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

I don't know where this list originated, but I wanted to pass it along. Let's just call the author Anon for now and, if I ever find out where it came from, credit will be given where credit is due. 

1. You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours. 

2. You feel insulted and “dehumanized” when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt. 

3. You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God. 

4. Your face turns purple when you hear of the “atrocities” attributed to Allah, but you don’t even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and trees! 

5. You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky. 

6. You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old. 

7. You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs — though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend eternity in an infinite Hell of suffering. And yet consider your religion the most “tolerant” and “loving.” 

8. While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in “tongues” may be all the evidence you need to “prove” Christianity. 

9. You define 0.01% as a “high success rate” when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God. 

10. You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Gay Marriage is Wrong Because...So Is Incest?

I’ve been wandering through some of PastorJer777’s videos on YouTube and came across one entitled Gay Marriage is Wrong! It’s a catchy title, so I decided to hear good ol’ PastorJer’s reasons for his being against gay marriage. I figured it must have something to do with the Bible, what with Jer being a Pastor and all. I just didn’t realize that Bible stories related to hospitality and incest proved that gay marriage was wrong. Go figure, huh? I’m learning something new all the time. 

Here’s a picture of Jer. He loves driving around in his car while making his videos. He also loves hats. He even wears hats in the house while he’s making videos. Slightly weird, I know, but he does it nonetheless. 

In this video, PastorJer777 feels “inspired by the spirit to take a stand for the church concerning gay marriage.” The church should stand for what is right and gay marriage is wrong. 

Jer says, “From the beginning, it has been man and woman, not man and man or woman and woman. There is no way in the world that two men or two women can be fruitful and multiply and that is what God said to Adam and Eve in the beginning. Gay marriage is wrong. That is the truth.” 

Now, I don’t know why God told Adam and Eve that two men or two women can’t be fruitful and multiply. It’s not as if they had any choice in partners at the time. Apparently, however, it’s the truth that God told them. I think He could have held onto that speech until he created some gay people though, don’t you? 

Then, PastorJer provides some Biblical proof for his stand. “God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah for the sins of homosexuality. I want to read something to you in first Corinthians, chapter five. It says that it is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality is not even named among the Gentiles. That a man has his father’s wife. Now, if Paul was hot under the collar because a man had his father’s wife, what would Paul say about two men getting married or two women getting married? I think that he would say that it’s an insult to the way that God created man and woman to be. A man was found sleeping with his mother, and Paul judged it wrong and said turn that person over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh that his spirit may be saved in the day of judgment.” 

I kid you not. Jer went from Sodom and Gomorrah, with no further explanation, into Paul sending someone to hell for incest. And this is his proof for gay marriage being wrong! I was awestruck. Aren't you awestruck? Okay, maybe it’s just me. So I wrote the following comment: 

Sodom and Gomorrah was a story about hospitality, not homosexuality. The word sodomy was not in that story until the KJV [King James Version]. Then you use a story about incest being wrong to prove that homosexuality is wrong. You're arguing apples and oranges. What I find really interesting is that you use Lot's story first, which ends in incest with his daughters (but you don't mention that), and then a different story about incest. You then equate incest with homosexuality. Your argument doesn't stand up.”

But, alas, no comment back from PastorJer777.