Philosophical Question For Today. . .

If a tree fell on TheWoodsofJordan, would he make a sound?

Let me give you a hint. He wouldn't understand this question.

The answer, of course, is no, he wouldn't make a sound. If it's not in the Bible, Jordan wouldn't know what sound to make.

TheWoodsofJordan is my YouTube toyboy. Not that kind of toyboy. My goodness, he would never allow that. He's saving himself for marriage. Heck, he doesn't even wank any more! No, Jordan is my toy to argue with when my brain is busy with something else. One doesn't need a brain to debate Jordan because he couldn't argue himself out of a wet paper Bible.

His arguments consist of repeating the same Bible verses over and over again. When he tries to think for himself, the arguments are even sillier than the Bible verses. He uses the Bible to argue that the Bible is true. He uses the Bible to argue that the Jesus story is true. He uses the Bible to argue that God is real. Circular reasoning anyone? When someone disagrees with him, well, that's because we're not true Christians and only true Christians can understand the Bible. It's over the heads of the rest of us apparently.

Jordan's latest religious phase is Calvinism. He's gone through many phases since I've been watching his videos. However, this is the weirdest one yet. He is seriously into evangelizing. He plans on making that his life's work. However, he truly believes in predestination. As he explains it, God has predestined His select people lucky enough to be saved by His Holy Wrathfulness and the rest of us will be sent to hell for eternity. We can do nothing to get ourselves saved. I have tried, along with other people, I've noticed, to explain to Jordan that predestination makes his evangelism job redundant; however, Jordan just doesn't get it.

He claims that he needs to continue to evangelize because he doesn't know who the "elect" are. But, it doesn't matter whether or not he knows. God knows and that's all that counts. God is supposed to be in charge of making sure that His elect will find their way to heaven, whether or not they have heard the wonderous preachings of TheWoodsofJordan. Hence, Pastor Jordan is out of a job. I think that, whenever he figures this out for himself, he'll give up the predestination lark. Of course, since Jordan doesn't think for himself, we'll have to wait until he reads it in another Christian document somewhere. And until that happens. . . .

Will we be able to see the forest for TheWoodsofJordan? :-)

Top 10 Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

I don't know where this list originated, but I wanted to pass it along. Let's just call the author Anon for now and, if I ever find out where it came from, credit will be given where credit is due. 

1. You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours. 

2. You feel insulted and “dehumanized” when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt. 

3. You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God. 

4. Your face turns purple when you hear of the “atrocities” attributed to Allah, but you don’t even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and trees! 

5. You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky. 

6. You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old. 

7. You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs — though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend eternity in an infinite Hell of suffering. And yet consider your religion the most “tolerant” and “loving.” 

8. While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in “tongues” may be all the evidence you need to “prove” Christianity. 

9. You define 0.01% as a “high success rate” when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God. 

10. You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.