Thursday, July 16, 2009

Philosophical Question For Today. . .

If a tree fell on TheWoodsofJordan, would he make a sound?

Let me give you a hint. He wouldn't understand this question.

The answer, of course, is no, he wouldn't make a sound. If it's not in the Bible, Jordan wouldn't know what sound to make.

TheWoodsofJordan is my YouTube toyboy. Not that kind of toyboy. My goodness, he would never allow that. He's saving himself for marriage. Heck, he doesn't even wank any more! No, Jordan is my toy to argue with when my brain is busy with something else. One doesn't need a brain to debate Jordan because he couldn't argue himself out of a wet paper Bible.

His arguments consist of repeating the same Bible verses over and over again. When he tries to think for himself, the arguments are even sillier than the Bible verses. He uses the Bible to argue that the Bible is true. He uses the Bible to argue that the Jesus story is true. He uses the Bible to argue that God is real. Circular reasoning anyone? When someone disagrees with him, well, that's because we're not true Christians and only true Christians can understand the Bible. It's over the heads of the rest of us apparently.

Jordan's latest religious phase is Calvinism. He's gone through many phases since I've been watching his videos. However, this is the weirdest one yet. He is seriously into evangelizing. He plans on making that his life's work. However, he truly believes in predestination. As he explains it, God has predestined His select people lucky enough to be saved by His Holy Wrathfulness and the rest of us will be sent to hell for eternity. We can do nothing to get ourselves saved. I have tried, along with other people, I've noticed, to explain to Jordan that predestination makes his evangelism job redundant; however, Jordan just doesn't get it.

He claims that he needs to continue to evangelize because he doesn't know who the "elect" are. But, it doesn't matter whether or not he knows. God knows and that's all that counts. God is supposed to be in charge of making sure that His elect will find their way to heaven, whether or not they have heard the wonderous preachings of TheWoodsofJordan. Hence, Pastor Jordan is out of a job. I think that, whenever he figures this out for himself, he'll give up the predestination lark. Of course, since Jordan doesn't think for himself, we'll have to wait until he reads it in another Christian document somewhere. And until that happens. . . .

Will we be able to see the forest for TheWoodsofJordan? :-)

1 comment:

Arcanum said...

This is hilarious!

Poor Dodgy TWoJy would not even understand what you are saying here, you True Atheist, you!